Career Change
What Day One Sounds Like Now
I went back and read my first post. I wasn't expecting it to feel like reading someone else.
The One I Sent First
I sent the email. Now there are three more names. I'm starting to understand why I sent the one I did.
The Third Monday
I said Monday three times. Today was the third one.
What I Thought This Was For
I started this blog as a commitment device. Forty-two days in, I'm not sure that's still the whole answer.
What the Subject Line Is
I spent Saturday morning writing an email I did not send. The subject line is where I found out what I have actually been avoiding.
What Belongs to the Badge
I watched a meeting room defer to me instead of someone smarter. I still cannot tell how much of my authority belongs to me.
Ready Is Not the Same as Going
I have legal clearance, a backward map, and a list of six names. I have not made a single call.
The Email I Held for Thirty-One Hours
The attorney gave me the clearance I needed. Then I came home, made a sandwich, and finally wrote Sandra back.
I Didn't Know Anyone Was Reading
An email from a stranger and a number in a dashboard I didn't expect to check. It turns out people were reading this while I was writing for nobody.
Six Sentences After Four Years
I came back from the walk, opened the laptop, and sent the email. After four years of mental drafts, what I actually typed was about six sentences.
The Email I Keep Not Sending
She's asked me every December for four years if I've thought about going independent. The answer is now yes. I haven't told her yet.
The Names I've Been Keeping in My Head
I've been carrying approximately seven names around for four months, maybe eight, without writing any of them down.
The Intake Form
I knew what I needed to do next. I had known for 48 hours. I opened the form and sat there for eight minutes before I typed anything.
What Was in the Box
I went to the guest room closet. The box was where I said it was. Twenty-four years of paperwork and one letter I had completely forgotten.
The Agreement I Signed in 2002
I finally Googled the one thing I'd been avoiding. The answer was: go find the document you signed 24 years ago, which you do not currently have.
The List I Won't Write Down
I have Googled almost everything about this plan. There is one thing I have not Googled, and the gap is telling.
The Question I Hadn't Prepared For
Doug's questions finally came Wednesday night. Most of them I had answers for. One of them I didn't.
Working Backwards from November
November 14 felt like a long time away until I started from November and worked the other way.
The Part I Left Out
Sunday night I told Doug everything. Except the one specific thing that would make it real.
I Told Doug
I'd been rehearsing this conversation for weeks. Sunday night I finally stopped rehearsing.
What I'm Actually Asking For
I've been preparing this conversation like a business presentation. I just realized I never figured out what I was actually asking for.
The Productive Version of Hiding
I spent Saturday morning building a competitive landscape instead of having a conversation.
What Strangers Know
Three weeks in. The internet knows more about my plans than my husband does.
The Line I Keep Scrolling Past
I've spent three weeks building a consulting plan. I just noticed the part I look forward to most isn't the consulting.
I Said It Out Loud
I've been staring at fourteen words for four days. Today I heard what they sound like in my own voice.
Case Study Number Four
I watched the exact thing I'm trying to sell happen in a meeting. Then I gave it away for free.
What I Typed Into Google at 7 AM
I can describe what I do in three case studies. I still can't describe it in one sentence.
The Napkin at the Conference Dinner
I wrote the third case study in fifteen minutes. The pattern held. I wish it hadn't.
The Second Story Was Faster
I wrote the second case study in twenty minutes. The pattern across both is the same. I still can't name it.
What If the Story Is the Pitch
I couldn't write the one-pager. So I wrote the $2.2 million story instead. It raised a harder question.
Why I Can't Write My Own One-Pager
I've written hundreds of these for other people. Turns out writing one for yourself is a completely different problem.
What I Think About in Meetings Now
Monday standup. My manager talked about getting ahead of a renewal. I nodded and thought about pricing.
What My Mother Doesn't Ask
My mom called at 10:15, same as every Sunday. I said work was fine. She didn't press.
Who Signs the Check
I spent a Saturday morning trying to answer Terri's question. Then Doug came home and I didn't answer his.
Forty-Seven Minutes
The call was supposed to be twenty minutes. Terri answered my three questions. Then she asked me one I couldn't answer.
What Do You Say When Someone Says Yes
Terri texted back. Now I have to figure out what I'm actually asking.
Asking for Help Before You're Ready
It took me nineteen hours to write a thirty-one word text message.
Six Hundred Contacts and No One to Call
I scrolled through every LinkedIn connection I have looking for one safe person to call.
Pricing Something You've Been Giving Away
I finally looked at the three bullet points in my spreadsheet. They looked like a business.
What I Said When He Asked
Doug asked what I was working on last night. I said email. It wasn't email.
I Already Did the Math
Six months ago I built a spreadsheet to figure out if I could afford to leave. I haven't opened it since.